Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Investikudos' take on Harpers Bazaar: from Flippy to Apple pie

I saw you there last night
Standing in the dark
You were acting so in love
With your hand upon his heart
But you were just friends
At least that's what you said

Yes, this was the song we thought of when reading the Harpers Bazaar interview. When staring at those breathtaking pictures. We're almost ashamed a Gavin DeGraw song ("Just Friends") popped into our heads.

They are friends. Look at them being friendly. The way Kristen is holding on to Rob on the motor cycle.

The way they stare at each other, laying on a Bed of Roses.

Jon Bon Jovi must have had quite the precognitive power when singing that song, way back when Rob and Kristen weren't even born.

He must have known that some day, two people - good buddies - were gonna have a sexy stare down on that infamous Bed of Roses.

Friends. Good friends.

That's what Rob himself said in Vanity Fair, right?

Well, we believed him. He had us up until the moment we saw those "portrait" pictures with the blue back ground. You know, the ones they can use for their Christmas cards this year. The ones which secretly make us us think; "Oh, hello there...engaged couple..."

Secretly ;)

You fooled us, Rob. You fooled us good.

We kid, of course.

We knew what you meant when you told that Peretz lady that you and Kristen were good friends. You might as well have added "and more..." but you didn't.

Because you weren't about to sell out like this.

Of course, now that Harpers Bazaar has shown you all chivalrous - down on your knees, kissing Kristen's hand...

Walking her down some stairs, fingers interlaced...

And more - we think that you were just holding out a little longer. Wanting something a little more subtle.

After all, the day after people thought you were nothing but a filthy drunken weirdo whose just good friends with Kristen, you retaliate by showing everyone not only what's what between Kristen and you, but also that you clean up nice.

And honestly Rob, we don't care. We don't care if you don't clean up. We don't care you have 16 pair of Ray Bans (though be fair and share, dude...), we don't even care you don't do laundry and eat only half of your Twix bar. (That's how we roll too, sometimes)

The only thing we care about is you. Witty, genuine, gorgeously supersticious you.

Flippy ;)

And your gal. Your buddy. Kristen.

We know she is more badass than you. She has to be too, if she's gonna take out those crazy bitches who still believe you're single and want to make you their own.

They cried, Rob. They cried when they saw those pictures. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones where you and Kristen are so close, we half-expected you were about to plant one on her, you know sneaky Vanity Fair style.

One of them we'll show again, just for emphasis.

We get it Rob, we do. We're not at all ashamed to admit, that sometimes we love her more than you. And let's face it, she wears the pants in your relationship.

There we said it. R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P.

Over the shock?

No? Than you better stop reading.

Yes? Good.

Now, where were we?

Right. Kristen wears the pants in your relationship. She calls you Flippy and now we love her just a little more than you.

But you don't mind, do you?

Because you love her too.

Yes, Rob. We know.

The dirty secret is not that you don't give a shit about cleaning. The dirty secret is that you love this girl.

And ever dirtier and to the dismay of many crazies...

She loves you too.

See, Rob...we're sure you know by now and may have waited for a long time to hear her say it, but we knew all along. It's that twinkle in her eyes - you know the one, the one you have too - that gives her away. She isn't as obvious as you, but still we know.

The girl calls you Flippy. Sorry, we're never going to let that one go, Rob. She knows your insecurities. She knows the way your mind works. She probably feeds you self made apple pie and we hope she does it naked. Well, on occasion. Sometimes you want to enjoy apple pie fully clothed and sometimes you don't.

We know you share your Ray Bans with her (you better!) and she her beloved Yankees cap with you. We know your brains might not be completely alike, but your values are.

We know there is something about the two of you, that works for us all.

We know you love her. You probably always did.

And we know she loves your dirty weirdo ass too.

We can't blame her.

We love you too, although strictly platonic.

We kinda love her more and maybe not as platonic.

Because she is badass and grace all in one. We love that about her. We love how she puts that wide ass grin on your face. The one she probably rolls her eyes to a lot, but in an endearing way because she gets you.

We love that she loves the hottest guy on the planet, but not because he is so hot. Probably because you're a slob.

We love Kristen, Rob. Almost as much as you.

And we think you approve :)

Sure, this will make people cry and deny and say "They're just good friends and it's all for New Moon promotion"

But you and Kristen aren't just good friends, are you? Emphasis on JUST. There's so much more there than just plain friendship. It may be part of the foundation your relationship is build on, and from what we recall, it is the way you say a relationship works best. Build from a friendship, a connection.

And don't get us started on how this shoot wasn't for promotional purposes because we know Summit didn't arrange it. Which we're bloody thankful for, might we add.

This was your badass girl and you, sharing the only part of your relationship you'll ever share. In the subtlest and classiest way possible.

For you and Kristen, the rest will - hopefully - remain as private as you two want to keep it.

And of that, we approve :)


  1. Beautiful, Bronze! :'''')
    Almost made me shed a tear!


  2. Bronze, I have to tell you, you outdid yourself with this one! I laughed, I was better than Cats! Seriously, I have two degrees in writing, and I was extremely impressed. Bravo! Twippy

  3. that was amazing bronze!

  4. Awesome!!! Now hope those two come across your post the next time they google themselves. :D

  5. This was a great post!

  6. awww, bronze, once again, you have capture all we wanted to say to them :)....


  7. "i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing" ;)

  8. Loves it Bronze you did a great job sugar

  9. That was soooo nice and soooo true!! :-) These two just make you go SQUEE! Loves it!

  10. Bronze,you're trying too much to prove something that it's not there.I know i'm gonna get a lot of hate for this,but i don't think they're together.I'm not a hater,nonsten,robsessed.Until one week ago i was obsessed with both of them.I still am,but as individuals,not a couple,because i don't think they're.A staged photoshoot won't convince me for something that both of them have denied many times.Rob said at VF that he's single and the rumors are false and that they're good friends.I know that many people tearing apart every single word he said and think it's old,lie,protection,non denial,etc.For me the things are clear as water.You don't deny somebody you love.End of story.Why all this drama?Maybe he denies the rumors,because there was never something to confirm.It's not bad.Maybe we thought of it more than it was.Maybe we wanted to believe something really bad.But now i'm afraid that all this pressure will make them drift apart and lose even their friendship.When you deny something and people don't listen,then it's not your fault anymore.When Rob's interview was out on Monday,many crazy shippers was calling him names and they were wishing he died!!!And the next day when that HB's interview and photos were out they were all drooling again.The situation is really sick.You're a very logical girl and i think deep inside you have your doubts,too.Maybe you don't want to express them publicly,maybe it's difficult for people to accept,but it's not the end of the world.On Monday,i cried.I really did.From sadness and disappointment.I was expecting a "no comment" story.But instead it was a clear answer.Monday was a bad day,but now i feel so much better because i accepted.It hurts,but life goes on.iT'S 2009,epic love stories happen only at the movies.And the only epic story here it was E/B.fOR r/k IT IS ONLY A GREAT FRIENDSHIP.Sorry for my long post.

  11. That brought tears and laughter, well done!

  12. Bronze, I have just been on your site in the last 3 weeks and love it! I really have enjoyed what you wrote with the HB photo outtakes!!! I love these 2 and this was great! I will say to the last post, 10/30 E!online Ted's TLT post, look for Clock Tower posts, you might change your mind as to whether R/K are really in love!! The poster really sounds reliable and states Rob is very much in love with Kristen and they do things for the benefit of their relationship.

  13. 2nd note on Clock Tower- They made some very business like comments about how Rob/Kris have negotiated contracts, how contractural binding they are, so please read if you have time.

  14. Anonymous: try and post that with your name, it makes more impact. Now, it seems you're just stomping your feet @ a truth you can;t seem to face. And I respect your opinion, although I don't agree.

    So stop calling me desperate, because I am pretty sure I have a better insight into the truth that you do.

  15. I think this was a great tribute to them...well done!

  16. Bronze, There was a huge posting and Clock Tower responded several times- I copied them into here. I am 4 Twi and always posted in support of R/K. Here is the Ted TLT 10/30 link:
    Starting with #201 Clock Tower first posts:
    201.clock tower Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 4:00 PM
    Sometimes we don't always see things as they really are, but rather we see things as we are. It's not so easy to just speak as freely as you wish sometimes, please remember alot of things are riding on Rob's shoulders. I promise if Rob could, he would shout it from the rooftops. He wants the world to know how he loves her,but there are things that contractually bind him from doing so.So please listen up! This is the most important thing im ever gonna share with you. Everything Rob Pattinson does, is in the best interest for his and Kristen's future. They are in agreement on everything. He will protect her no matter what the cost. So try not to judge Rob through your eyes, when you can't see through his. So yes there will be a denial, well it will sound as a denial, but we who really are in the know, know that this all just one more stepping stone to the big reveal. They are a couple, they are in love, and they are committed in every way possible.

    219.clock tower Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 4:32 PM

    Last thing i will say and im gonna write it big so some of you can comprehend it. His denial is for SAFETY CONCERNS OK.

    248.clock tower Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 5:00 PM

    So you would rather him draw attention to her, and only her so all his lunatic fangirls can focus on making her life a living h@ll. This way,with a denial, he still is able to take the brunt of it. He would take it all on if he could. He hates the position of them wanting to be together, places her in. Some of you need to grow up, you obviously never been in a true, mature, relationship. I feel for you.

    328.clock tower Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 6:05 PM

    @314, he's risked millions of dollars, when negotiating his contract for Breaking Dawn. There were certain stipulations he insisted on,(for he and Kristen) and he was ready to walk away from it all. But they stood their ground, and they made out nicely. Thats one of many. Im done. Some of you are so jaded you will never get to see the true nature of Robert Pattinson. Some of you don't deserve to. Nice speaking with you all Im out, never to return, glad some of you understand, you are true Rob fans. For those who are so quick to tear him down, I hope after you've seen the truth. you will know he does what he does for her.

  17. Anyway, Bronze, thank you for the thoughtful writing with the pictures. Hope you enjoy the stuff I posted about Clock Tower in response to all the continued speculation...

  18. Yes, thank you for taking the time to compile it all and put it here :)

  19. Sometimes in your writing and your posts on AT board it is apparent that you love Kris so much more than Rob, almost to the point that it seems like you only tolerate Rob and her together because you have no other choice. It is my belief that you want her in a very sexual way. It's creepy.

  20. Questionable: brilliant response.

    Don't pretend to dissect my writing. That's what's creepy.

    Not that I owe you or anyone an explanation, but Rob is a great and genuine guy from what I have seen. Kristen gets alot more backlash and it's unjustified. That's why I supprt her a little more than Rob, because he already gets a tun of support.

    My love for her is strictly platonic and love these two together. Too bad you think differently. But maybe you're just jealous. That's also kinda creepy.

  21. Bronze.. I cried so much when read your post.. You have said in words all stuff I believe and agree 100%.
    I'm still crying...

  22. ohhh. just as comment.. Last week during Japan NM promotion Rob said that he can lie to protect his girlfriend. *sigh*

  23. Bronze...My thoughts exactly.Please keep writing. I look forward to reading your posts
    everyday.......Elle Scott