I saw you there last night
Standing in the dark
You were acting so in love
With your hand upon his heart
But you were just friends
At least that's what you said
Yes, this was the song we thought of when reading the Harpers Bazaar interview. When staring at those breathtaking pictures. We're almost ashamed a Gavin DeGraw song ("Just Friends") popped into our heads.
They are friends. Look at them being friendly. The way Kristen is holding on to Rob on the motor cycle.
The way they stare at each other, laying on a Bed of Roses.
Jon Bon Jovi must have had quite the precognitive power when singing that song, way back when Rob and Kristen weren't even born.
He must have known that some day, two people - good buddies - were gonna have a sexy stare down on that infamous Bed of Roses.
Friends. Good friends.
That's what Rob himself said in Vanity Fair, right?
Well, we believed him. He had us up until the moment we saw those "portrait" pictures with the blue back ground. You know, the ones they can use for their Christmas cards this year. The ones which secretly make us us think; "Oh, hello there...engaged couple..."
You fooled us, Rob. You fooled us good.
We kid, of course.
We knew what you meant when you told that Peretz lady that you and Kristen were good friends. You might as well have added "and more..." but you didn't.
Because you weren't about to sell out like this.
Of course, now that Harpers Bazaar has shown you all chivalrous - down on your knees, kissing Kristen's hand...
Walking her down some stairs, fingers interlaced...
And more - we think that you were just holding out a little longer. Wanting something a little more subtle.
After all, the day after people thought you were nothing but a filthy drunken weirdo whose just good friends with Kristen, you retaliate by showing everyone not only what's what between Kristen and you, but also that you clean up nice.
And honestly Rob, we don't care. We don't care if you don't clean up. We don't care you have 16 pair of Ray Bans (though be fair and share, dude...), we don't even care you don't do laundry and eat only half of your Twix bar. (That's how we roll too, sometimes)
The only thing we care about is you. Witty, genuine, gorgeously supersticious you.
And your gal. Your buddy. Kristen.
We know she is more badass than you. She has to be too, if she's gonna take out those crazy bitches who still believe you're single and want to make you their own.
They cried, Rob. They cried when they saw those pictures. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones where you and Kristen are so close, we half-expected you were about to plant one on her, you know sneaky Vanity Fair style.
One of them we'll show again, just for emphasis.
We get it Rob, we do. We're not at all ashamed to admit, that sometimes we love her more than you. And let's face it, she wears the pants in your relationship.
There we said it. R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P.
Over the shock?
No? Than you better stop reading.
Now, where were we?
Right. Kristen wears the pants in your relationship. She calls you Flippy and now we love her just a little more than you.
But you don't mind, do you?
Because you love her too.
Yes, Rob. We know.
The dirty secret is not that you don't give a shit about cleaning. The dirty secret is that you love this girl.
And ever dirtier and to the dismay of many crazies...
She loves you too.
See, Rob...we're sure you know by now and may have waited for a long time to hear her say it, but we knew all along. It's that twinkle in her eyes - you know the one, the one you have too - that gives her away. She isn't as obvious as you, but still we know.
The girl calls you Flippy. Sorry, we're never going to let that one go, Rob. She knows your insecurities. She knows the way your mind works. She probably feeds you self made apple pie and we hope she does it naked. Well, on occasion. Sometimes you want to enjoy apple pie fully clothed and sometimes you don't.
We know you share your Ray Bans with her (you better!) and she her beloved Yankees cap with you. We know your brains might not be completely alike, but your values are.
We know there is something about the two of you, that works for us all.
We know you love her. You probably always did.
And we know she loves your dirty weirdo ass too.
We can't blame her.
We love you too, although strictly platonic.
We kinda love her more and maybe not as platonic.
Because she is badass and grace all in one. We love that about her. We love how she puts that wide ass grin on your face. The one she probably rolls her eyes to a lot, but in an endearing way because she gets you.
We love that she loves the hottest guy on the planet, but not because he is so hot. Probably because you're a slob.
We love Kristen, Rob. Almost as much as you.
And we think you approve :)
Sure, this will make people cry and deny and say "They're just good friends and it's all for New Moon promotion"
But you and Kristen aren't just good friends, are you? Emphasis on JUST. There's so much more there than just plain friendship. It may be part of the foundation your relationship is build on, and from what we recall, it is the way you say a relationship works best. Build from a friendship, a connection.
And don't get us started on how this shoot wasn't for promotional purposes because we know Summit didn't arrange it. Which we're bloody thankful for, might we add.
This was your badass girl and you, sharing the only part of your relationship you'll ever share. In the subtlest and classiest way possible.
For you and Kristen, the rest will - hopefully - remain as private as you two want to keep it.
And of that, we approve :)